Binoculars

This family has a thing about binoculars. We can't leave the house without someone shouting out, "Do we have the binoculars?" or, "Where are the binoculars?" We, and I say this loosely because I never use the binoculars, seem to be obsessed with seeing things at 5x zoom, or whatever it is binoculars are. I don't use them because I'm fine seeing things from a normal distance, plus its like, so lame to use them. And I've learned the hard way that when I pick up a pair of binoculars, someone is always around with the camera. They wait until I look my best and then snap a picture that will appear on every piece of paper that our family owns.

Here I made the mistake of using them on Maui:

But this picture wasn't bad enough, I guess it wasn't quite blackmail material, so they had to put Veronica in there and snap another.

Anyone in this family will have seen this picture before. In fact, anyone in the state of Hawaii will have seen it. Actually, maybe anyone in the western United States and parts of the Midwest will have seen it. I even think it's been posted on here before, (but I don't know how to do links so you'll have to look for yourselves.) Mom and dad think its hilarious, and so they send it to everyone they know, and everyone they knows' neighbor. I find it slightly less amusing.
But I do wonder, how I managed to stay in the exact same position long enough, for Veronica to move in and pose? It must have been something really important that I was looking at. It was probably boys on the beach some rare animal that only shows itself every four years on the tenth day of April. Yeah, that's what it was. A rare animal. Yeah.

But whatever it was, it wasn't enough to put me off binoculars forever, unfortunately. Because about three days later I was duped into picking a pair up again.

Of course, this time I'm looking at whales, yeah it was whales I remember, and definitely not the boat of lifeguard trainees passing.

This time, I learned though. The experience taught me to never look through binoculars again, at least not when a camera is nearby. I may find myself squinting a lot, but I get by just fine. However, the rest of the family....well they're still obsessed. Poor souls.

They're always prepared. Just in case they need to whip those binoculars up to their eyes.

It consumes them. Once they start looking they just can't stop.

It's sad isn't it? I'm so thankful that I understood the dangers of over-binocular use early in my life and so will not spend the rest of it thinking how much better the current view would be if it were 5x larger.

And of course, I don't look nearly as silly as they do. Nope, through every situation I retain my coolness and my true personality shines through, unhampered by binoculars.