You Are Too Smart!

Either that, or I accidentally told you where I was going when I talked to you the other day Jennifer! How did you know I was going to New Zealand from that picture! UUURRRGGHHH! Why must I be surrounded by geniuses?

Jennifer was right, I am going to New Zealand. I guess now I have to send her her prize: a hand written letter. Oh my goodness, how will I ever hand write a letter? And I'm not trying to be funny here, it has been forever since I wrote a letter.

So, Congratulations Jennifer! You won!

I was going to do a lot more clues, maybe a few more pictures, and then a quote from Lord of the Rings. I knew that when I said, "This is it. If I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home, I've ever been," everyone would immediately get it. But I was still looking forward to saying it! Oh well. There will be another time, hopefully.

Anyway, enjoy this little video, it gets me so fired up every time I watch it!

Before and After!

So, I bet all of you guys are just dying to know how I took all of those wonderful Civil War pictures and still managed to make it back to the present in time for dinner. Well, I'm about to tell you. I used this handy-dandy little photo editing software time machine called Macromedia Fireworks. Its called Fireworks because when you take off, fireworks go off! It's pretty sweet.

Anyway, I decided that instead of going to Anderson River Park to get my pictures of "Civil War Day", I would just use Macromedia Fireworks to go to the real thing! And I had all of you fooled into thinking that I settled with Anderson River Park! I'm You're so funny!

So the past is pretty awesome, you guys should definitely schedule a trip there sometime soon. It had a ton of photographic opportunities. Too bad you missed it! But at least I was there to take them for you. What would you do without me, seriously.

So anyway, I took my little camera and headed to the Civil War. If you look in my world history book you'll see me waving at the camera from behind this soldier. It was a pretty cool moment and sure to spawn many interesting classroom discussions.

But I have a feeling that my pictures are far better than anything they have. Although, I did meet with a nasty surprise when I was there. I went to take my first picture and found that *gasp* my camera had gone from digital to *double gasp* film! Oh the horror! You have no idea! Actually, thanks to my sweet photography class, I was prepared for anything!

So I quickly adapted, snapped my pictures and then came the hard part: how to find a store that would develop my pictures! I searched around, asked some soldiers (who were very rude by the way, something about a war or something. Whatever.) and eventually stumbled into a town that was half-way civilized. I grabbed a coffee from a man named Star Bucks, and then headed into the store across the way owned by a very nice man named Wal. His place was called Wal's Mart. It was pretty cool. He was very helpful and pretty soon, I had a bunch of lovely color photos. Now don't be shocked, they did have color photos back then, its just that by the time they sit around for a hundred years, the color fades, poor things. Here's where my true genius came from. I decided that I wanted both the faded pictures and the color ones. So I went back to Wal's Mart and had him make copies for me. I then went and buried them under a tree, that would eventually grow in my yard! Then it was a simple matter of using Fireworks to get back to the future. I had those pictures dug up way before dinner. And I was going to show you, but decided against it. 'Cause then what kind of photographer would I be if I let you in on all of my secrets? (Actually I shot in RAW format and found out that it is the one format that Blogger doesn't support.) So, never mind!

I hope you liked the pictures, 'cause I risked my life to get them for you.

Where in the World is Vanessa Tuepker?

So, as you will all know, I have been nominated for a scholarship to study abroad for a year. Just to add some variety and spice to your lives, I have decided to hold a little contest.

I will give you daily clues, starting today, and you guys have to guess where my number one country is! How fun is that!

The first clue is this:

So put on your thinking caps, and start guessing!

It's the Civil War! In California?

Today at Anderson River Park was....Civil War Day!

At first I was a little confused by this because California wasn't even a state during the Civil War, so I thought it was a little weird that we would be having a battle reenactment. But when I pointed this out to mom she just said, "Vanessa, we're going. Stop complaining." So, I'm still a little confused, but we went, we saw.......we lost. I was really upset that they had the north lose. I mean, we did win the war, so wouldn't you think it would be nice if we won the reenactment? Maybe I'm just being technical, I don't know.

So here are some pictures of Civil War Day in Anderson River Park California, a million miles away from the actual Civil War.

This here is a pretty nifty little thing they used called a cannon. It was loud. It hurt my ears. But, dedicated as I am to photography, I suffered through it to bring this picture to you. You're welcome.

This was the South's cannon. It was loud too. And apparently far superior. Who knew?

These were the North drummer, flute, people. The South didn't have any because this group is the only group in California that can play the instruments together. So they trade sides a lot. Traitors!

Finally, the battle started.

This is the Confederate Army getting ready.

Loading their guns...

Here's the Union soldiers getting ready to advance.

And here they are advancing! Go! Go! Go! Run faster!

Just when I thought they were going to make it those pesky Confederates opened fire.

Luckily, there was at least one brave Union soldier/cavalry person out there today. He gave those Confederates hell.

But it was all in vain.....

'cause pretty much the entire Union army died....

...and surrendered.

I was pretty upset over this. Cause they had two cannons, more men, and the cavalry. Whereas the Confederates had fifteen men, and only one cannon. Psh! Get it right.

Oh, well. It was still enjoyable and I enjoyed taking the pictures, so it was worth it.

Poor Souls

There has been some controversy over my last post. Apparently, some in this family (I won't name names....yet) believe that they are "The Best Pumpkin Carver. Ever." Now we all now that is ridiculous. I claimed it first. It's even in writing, (see previous post), and everyone knows that once it's in writing, you can't change it.

But, as I mentioned before, I am very skilled at pumpkin carving, very generous, and now I'm telling you that I am fair. To prove that I am "The Best Pumpkin Carver. Ever." I will post the Others' pumpkins and critique them. For free! I know, I know, the more you learn about me the more you love me.

Now I will name names. Don't balk, it's too late, you guys brought this upon yourselves! You demanded I publish your pumpkins, so here they are. Are you all ready for this? The culprits, the undermining, unsatisfied, greedy, questioning, doubting family members who confronted me on my last post are.....ready? You might want to sit down. Okay, I'm sorry you two, but here goes: it was.....MICHELLE AND CORY!

CAN YOU BELIEVE THOSE TWO? I am shocked! The two people in the world whom I admire and look up to (actually there are quiet a few, but it lays a better guilt trip if I just say two) undermine me and try to take away my title! That's it, the earrings are coming out.

Here are their, "wonderful, magnificent, superior" pumpkins. Have you ever heard such garbage?

I mean, look at those things. Really look at them.

Let's start this with Michelle's.

It's obviously some kind of ghost-like, spirit thing flying in front of a window and holding a candelabra that is completely on fire. Okay, any candelabra I've ever seen only burns on the wick of the candles, and not the whole thing. So there's a mark off for being unrealistic. Oh yeah, and ghosts are see-through, duh, so that's another point off. And finally, what exactly is happening outside that window? Is there a fire or something? That's really confusing me. So there is another point, for leaving the viewer in doubt.

Now for Cory's unique interpretation of vegetable maiming.

Okay? Okay. This....is some kind of goblin. I think. First, there are some points off, because I can't decipher what it is. Also, it has holes in it's back. I can literally see through its back. So is this....thing.... he has created hollow and filled with fire, or is it some weird thing that is see-through? And then it is obviously holding a trick-or-treat bag, so this may be his twisted, subconscious opinion of trick-or-treaters. Does he really view innocent little kids dressing up for Halloween to be greedy, fire-filled demons? I think he needs help. His subconscious is clearly calling out to be rescued in this carving, and just think, without me here to tell him, he may never have known that. You're welcome.

Now that we have analyzed fairly, and unbiasedly their two carvings. Let us compare them to mine.

I don't think there is too much to say here. I mean just look at them. Mine is an obvious subject, showing amazing skill and creativity. Theirs? Theirs we have talked about before, but they show amazing lack of subject and creativity. Although I must admit their candles were superior to my own.

In conclusion, I hope we are now all clear on who is the real, final and only "Best Pumpkin Carver. Ever."

The Best Pumpkin Carver. Ever.

Wanna know a secret? Actually it's not a secret but it's still pretty cool. Okay, I'll tell you, but you have to promise to tell everyone. I am....the best....pumpkin carver. Ever. Seriously, I am extremely talented at carving pumpkins. Just ask my neighbors, I've been telling them for weeks.

And now, because I am not only extremely talented, but also extremely generous, I, Vanessa Lynn Tuepker, am going to reveal to you my pumpkin carving secrets. Ready? I'm only going to say this once, so listen carefully.

IcalledMichelleandshetoldmetogetacarvingkit,soIwenttowalmartandtheywereout,soIcamehome
andcriedandthenwenttotheHalloweenstorewhereIshouldhavegonetobeginwithandtherei
foundacarvingkitrightunderthebottlesofblood.Ithenwentbacktowalmartandboutpumpkins
andthencamehomeandcarvedthemusingmynewcarvingkitthatIfoundundertheblood
intheHalloweenstore.

Did you get all that. I hope so, cause I did it just for you and if you made me say it again, I think I would cry. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I would cry.

WHAT! You didn't understand what I said really quietly, quickly, and in one long word! Hold on, I have to go cry.

Okay, I'm back. I guess I'll have to tell you the secret. Again. Sheesh, could you guys listen this time? I would really appreciate it. Thanks.

So here, again, is my secret to insane, pumpkin carving skills. I don't mean that I'm insane while I carve the pumpkin, or that my pumpkin is insane, only that my skills are so amazing, they are insane. As in wonderful, amazing, incredible, insane. Get it? I hope, so cause I'm getting tired of repeating stuff to you guys today.

Step Number 1: Be very cool, like Vanessa cool. It may be a little hard for you guys to manage this one, but don't be discouraged and do your best.

Number 2: Go to Wal-Mart and get a "Pumpkin Carving Kit".

Number 3: Come home and carve your pumpkin!

See, I told you it was easy!

This is how mine turned out.

First I gathered all of my materials.

Okay, okay, this isn't all of the materials I used, but when I took the picture mom hadn't come yet and told me what I really needed. So work with me here.

Then, I traced and cut out a lid.

Actually, those are mom's hands. She's pretty good at carving pumpkins too. I guess.

Now, you scoop out all the gunk inside. It's pretty gross, but I did it, rugged person that I am. Okay, okay! Mom did a little bit of it, but I did most of it. Fine! Mom did a lot of it, but I did stick my hand in there. I did. Please stop looking at me with doubt in your eyes, because I did.

Stop doubting me! Just because those are mom's hands, again, I swear that I did do some of the work.

Once the pumpkin is all cleaned out (and I did help) you tape on the pattern you want. What, did you guys think I did wonderful carvings from my imagination? You guys kill me!

As you can see, I'm doing a witch. I'm superior like that.

Then, you trace the outline with the little tracer thingy, like I'm doing here:

The key is to put as much concentration into it as I am. You don't get superior pumpkins by not putting any concentration into it. It also helps if you ignore the chair behind you and hunker down in an uncomfortable position for long periods of time. You get a very nice outline and the ache in your back makes you feel like you worked really hard at it. Trust me, you must do this for maximum fun!

Now that it's outlined you remove the paper and it should look something like this. Of course, if you chose to do something besides the witch, it will be slightly different, but the dots should show up the same. Only different.

Now its a simple matter of connecting the dots with the really fun saw blade thingy. Mom had doubts about letting me use it, but decided that as long as she was present, everything would be okay.

Finally, after everything was cut out, I had this: the coolest, bestest pumpkin ever.

Oh, yeah and mom did one too. Here they are.

I know, I know, I am wonderful. I told you so. I am the best pumpkin carver. Ever.